I could hold on to who I am and never let You change me from the inside
And I could be safe, I could be safe here in Your arms and never leave home
Never let these walls down
But You have called me higher
You have called me deeper
And I will go where you will lead me Lord
She began humming this song and all of a sudden I realized it was the answer to the prayer going on in my heart. God was speaking through her kind humming and singing. I began singing aloud with her and ever since that day, the song has been in not only my head but also my heart. It’s been answering so many questions I have had on my mind…it’s been a sign of complete confirmation. My dear friend Dacia didn’t know it that day singing the simple tune of All Sons and Daughters “You Have Called Me Higher”…but it was everything I needed to hear.
I look back on my last entry and laugh. Just a few weeks ago I was desperate to understand the confused thoughts and dreams going on in my heart. I was staring at all of these puzzle pieces on the table trying to figure out what piece goes in next. Pieces were being put into the wrong spots…even though they were still a solid piece to the puzzle of course…they were on the table… I was trying to figure it out on my own instead of taking a step back and understanding that God is the only one that is seeing the big picture. While He is preparing my heart for what is to come…the next step..the next puzzle piece about to be laid down…I just kept interrupting Him assuming I knew what He was up to…I knew where the pieces belonged.
To be honest and completely humble, I still don’t know what He is up to…but I really want to THINK I know what He is up to. I believe He has a puzzle piece in the shape of Jinja, Uganda in His hands. These past two weeks have been nothing but a continual fall…a fall into a deep hole that is love and that hole is made up of beautiful red dirt. I am seeing this place with a whole new set of eyes. This is no longer the place I will come and visit every year for a couple of months at a time…it’s something so much more. It’s a hard feeling to describe because I personally have never felt it before but what I can say is…I am looking at Jinja, Uganda and knowing for the first time in my life…this is the place I am meant to call home.
It’s amazing how in such a short amount of time and in the midst of confusion and endless possibilities, God can just turn on the light switch. His timing is incredible. I am noticing how in my life He is slowly preparing my story and events.
I know little to nothing about cooking but I do know it is wise to keep the burners on a medium gauge to avoid burning your food. Now when I cook…I put my food on the high option and usually end up walking away…get distracted talking to someone, cleaning my room or most likely scrolling through instagram and forget about what I have going on in the kitchen. God on the other hand is such a patient cook. He is slowly stirring everything in the pots and pans..adding seasoning here and there and knows exactly when the food is complete and ready to be served. I know His dish is going to be way better than mine and I am so grateful for that.
In the past 5 months, the Lord has been preparing my dish. He has been adding ingredients here and there and even removing some from the recipe. He has been slowly stirring the Jinja into my heart and now it is here to stay. Nothing will ever taste as good mixed in my life at this point in time. I am understanding and completely accepting that Jinja, Uganda is the place I am meant to call home at this point in my life and when I come back in December of this year it will be a whole different kind of return.
What is the next step? I am not too sure. Those pieces are still on the table. While I can see them and they are beautiful and I personally believe I know where they belong in the puzzle..I’m going to let God continue to place them in the right spots…in the right time. I just know that this picture is beautiful and I can’t wait to see how it looks when each puzzle piece is laid down in it’s perfect timing, in it’s perfect place.