This Bethel song keeps singing through my soul.
“I feel it in my bones you’re about to move”
Maybe it’s because I am 37 weeks pregnant or maybe it’s because my whole world is about to change but it’s an incredible feeling to know God is about to do something big. Like any day now.
I have been in seasons before where I have wanted that change of to just come. The desert was getting too hot and lonely…I just needed a good rain and clear vision of what’s ahead of me. Now, here I am. Just a few weeks away from meeting my biological daughter.
I have a journal where I write to our children. I write to Skye. I write to our 5 year old girl we are in the process of adopting. I write to a child that is laid on my heart but have no idea or plans of when they will be coming in our life. I write to this baby girl…the one who is currently doing gymnastics in my womb. She is stretching her feet up towards my rib cage and her head is weighing low on my pelvic bone. Literally, I am feeling it in my bones that she’s not only about to move…but that she’s moving.
In this journal I write whatever comes to my heart. If it’s prayers, hopes, dreams, lessons I have learned, facts and events of their lives…I write because I want them to know. I write because I don’t want to forget. I don’t want to forget how God has rescued me out of the valley and now I am almost to the top of the mountain.
Below is a letter I wrote when we hit the 2nd trimester…
Don’t get me wrong, your life has been longed for long before you were ever conceived. Your name has been known. We have desired you.
But…we truly had no idea what we were getting into.
After Skye, it was hard to just feel everything we wanted to feel / expected to feel getting pregnant with you. We loved your brother so much. In those 10 weeks our hearts grew bigger than we could have known.
Then it broke.
But you…you have helped us pick up the pieces. You are the answer to our prayers. You are the promise to so many things we asked of God…all wrapped into one.
It took your father and I a long time to get here but we are finally feeling pure joy! I’m dreaming of what you will look like, anticipating your kicks inside of my womb and can’t wait to see you again at the next ultrasound. I long to know your gender…everyone thinks you are a girl. I want to say I know you are a girl for sure.
I am so thankful for you and truly I thank God everyday for this sweet gift of life that represents so many things but undoubtedly you represent hope, resilience and love.
Yes…joy! We are feeling pure joy and it’s been the most incredible triumph of this journey. God’s goodness has broken through and the fears that the enemy laid on us for so long (even when one of our biggest prayers were answered) has vanished. No matter what valley God leads us through next, we will make it out. Because that is the thing…He leads us through the valleys…He doesn’t leave us alone in them just waiting on the outside for us to emerge. He is with us through it all, every step of the way. He illuminates His promises to make the path visible and leading us towards His bright pure Light. And that is where we are heading…as these days lead to the birth of our youngest daughter…we are making our way towards His beautiful, bright, pure Light.